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Thursday January 8, 2009
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Okay. Two hours at CES and I've already found the absolute stupidest accessory at the show. If you want to add massive fail to your life, hop on over to Cell-Mate to check out this truly idiotic product, which is a piece of metal and Velcro that actually clips your cell phone to your head. It isn't the poor-man's hands-free; it's the poor, poor dork's handsfree. I particularly love the photo on their page of the guy who has a Motorola RAZR clipped to the side of his face. Beyond ugly, this accessory marks you as a person who truly doesn't care that you look like a fool.
Now, I don't consider myself a stylish guy, but even I would not be caught dead clipping my cell phone to my ear with Velcro. Even better, these guys use a free GoDaddy page to host their Web site, including the embedded GoDaddy ads at the top of the page. Web page fail, product fail, lifestyle fail.
The Cell-Mate page doesn't give any hint on how to buy this product, but trust me. You don't want to.
For PCMag's full CES coverage, go to http://www.pcmag.com/category2/0,2806,2235882,00.asp.
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January 8, 2009 3:54 PM
Product name fail. Cell-Mate == big guy name Bubba in same jail cell with you.
January 8, 2009 5:24 PM
What the hell? Who seriously thought this product prototype was a good thing?
January 9, 2009 11:48 AM
You'll be glad you didn't see version 1 of this product, the one that employed duct tape.
January 9, 2009 1:05 PM
I'm pretty sure that's a joke site. I don't know many joke sites with actual contact information and phone numbers, but I doubt you'll see this product along side the "Snuggie" or the "Petaegg" anytime soon.
January 9, 2009 11:54 PM
I would bet it's actually real, since it is at CES, and has a contact phone number (in the top right).
Also, notice at the bottom, it says "© 2008 Cell-Mate. A division of Laser Products Industries" with a link to the parent company. That place is indeed a real company that manufactures and distributes industrial and construction laser products. Nothing at all to do with cell phones. My guess is this is something they came up with for their own people, and then somebody said "Hey, I bet we could get some idiots to buy this thing from us! Let's sell it!"
January 10, 2009 4:48 PM
The statement that simply adding a Bluetooth headset reduces reception quality shows just how much thought went into the development of this. Granted, you may not have the signal strength with the phone sitting on the seat, between your legs or in a cup holder, but the statement in and of itself isn't correct. I imagine that the metal headband may do more harm than good for some internal antenna locations.
Products like this will provoke laws to allow you to be arrested on the spot for looking so stupid while using it.
@Phil: I dunno...maybe Crazy Glue was the first version!
January 11, 2009 9:19 PM
@CapitalW: Nah, Crazy Glue was version 0. They realized it wasn't such a good idea after 6 months of trying and the poor guy who tried on that prototype still has that thing glued to his head. Anyway, his wife doesn't think very highly of him now.
January 13, 2009 4:07 PM
@Jeff: Although Crazy Glue ultimately was a bad idea, it did stop the problem of misplacing your cell phone.
January 13, 2009 5:31 PM
Laws to arrest you for looking or being stupid? Obama and the entire Dem congress would be going to jail.