Who lives in a pineapple under your--oh god, sorry, I can't finish the sentence, but now that I've mentioned it, let me just state for the record that I'm very glad that this thing is not shaped like a pineapple.

The shape of the giant thermometer protruding from SpongeBob's square pants is, however, a matter for you to take up with your neighborhood Freudian psychologist in 20 years or so.

If the mere thought of this thing hasn't managed to scar your inner child, how about the fact that the big, yellow, smiling rectal thermometer also plays the SpongeBob SquarePants theme song as it snuggles into your bum? A fact; it's illustrated on the products box by the image of Mr. SquarePants playing his nose flute.

I doubt we'll get this device in at PC Mag for testing, though. For some reason, no one will respond to our multiple job-board postings for a lead musical-rectal-thermometer analyst.