I've led a full life. I've climbed the world's highest mountain peaks, made love to countless beautiful women, saved the world at the last second from more than a few alien threats, and proudest of all, found occasion to greatly overstate my accomplishments on a gadget blog. Oh yeah, and I played with an iPhone for like five minutes. That was neat.

As I look back on my proud life's work, there remains a giant gap in my accomplishments: I've never named a supercomputer. I mean sure, I've been known to lovingly assign them nicknames likes 'Supers,' and 'Deathrotron 8700,' but none really stuck. Thanks to our friends at the A. James Clark School of Engineering at the University of Maryland, that may finally change. I've already entered the contest some 557 times, all under assumed in names, in attempt to both realize my dream and win the $500 prize, which will be immediately invested in my PS3-a-day gaming habit.

Unfortunately, competition has just gotten a bit stiffer, with Clark School opening up entries to people under the age of 18, and non-US residents. Apparently my suggestion, "Baron von Computingsworth VII," wasn't good enough to close the competition and immediately award me the cash prize. Blast! You've got until September 15, to come up with something better than that. Good luck--you're gonna need it.