So that means we get brands like the Geode (a processor named after a rock) or the Pentium, which at least evokes its role as the fifth major generation of Intel processors. When a marketer can't come up with a decent brand name, they punt, as in the AMD K6.

With AMD's latest quad-core brand, the Phenom, I thought to myself: now that's a brand name! Phenomenal! In baseball, sometimes you describe someone as a pheee-nom, drawing out the first syllable for effect. And as I pondered that over Thai food this weekend, that's when the fun started.

Depending upon how it's read, you might say that "Phenom" is made up of the phonemes "phen" and "nam". In Thai, that doesn't mean anything, at least to my knowledge. But in Vietnamese, it does. Vietnamese is a tonal language, so the rising or falling tones in which the word is pronounced affect its meaning.

Now with a name like "Hachman," you might assume that I wasn't brought up speaking Vietnamese. That's true. So I used Vdict.com, an online dictionary, as well as a representative of the Vietnam Studies Group as a second source.

According to the dictionary, "phen" means "time," or "turn," as in "sometimes" or "it's my time". "Nam," on the other hand, means either "man" or "south," according to the dictionary. But according to the academic manning the phones at the Vietnam Studies Group, however, "phen" means "chance", while "nam" means "man," as well as "water sprite" and "baron".

So in Vietnam, the AMD Phenom could be interpreted as "chance of being man," as well as "chance of being man or water sprite". Not the most favorable interpretation, although Southeast Asia does have a rather unsavory reputation as a haven for transgendered prostitutes. On the other hand, if you were feeling more generous toward the chip, "man time" conjures up images of burly he-men crashing tankards of ale together while slaughtering each other in an online deathmatch. ROAR!

(Keep in mind that the microprocessor industry is fueled in part about geeks wanting the best and fastest processor, and the bragging rights those construe. No offense meant to any GBLT readers.)

But wait, there's "phe," too. And that's even more heroic: "side," as in "he always takes my side of things". So is the Phenom really "the side of man", fighting for truth, justice and the Vietnamese/American Way? Sort of depends on how it stacks up against Intel's quad-core chips, most likely.

So will the Phenom be more like the Hulk or an aquatic Tinkerbell? You tell me. Feel free to straighten me out on my Vietnamese as well.