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Sunday April 1, 2007
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After years of thwarted anticipation and dashed hopes, WABAC Corp. has finally announced a ship date for its onomatopoetic product, the WABAC Time-Travel Machine.
Believe it or not, WABAC (based in rural New Jersey, near Wawayanda State Park) has been toiling to perfect the device since the late fifties. The WABAC will be the world's first time-travel mechanism, allowing users to skip through history and visit any time period they like, opening up myriad educational, entertainment, and revisionist possibilities.
An interesting operational bug, says WABAC CEO Mr. Hector Peabody , is that upon returning from their journeys, time travelers are apt to make groan-inducing puns. Said Peabody, "Sherman, one of our early testers, upon returning from a visit to early twentieth century scientist Ivan Pavlov, followed up every sentence with 'Does that ring a bell?' Very annoying."
When asked why WABAC Corp. couldn't simply go back 50 years and tell itself how to build the machine, Peabody growled something about the dangers of changing history, but had no other comment. Seemingly with no similar fears, President Gore released a statement to the press detailing his "Greening the Past" initiative.
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