Blogging Molly is so disturbed by a new toy she heard about this weekend. Let's begin with its name: Love 'n Licks Puppy. Ick. Playmates is trying to sell your kids a toy that shows its love through licking. Sounds great! (Just as great as the Oozinator, that is.)

Why any kid would want to be licked by a stuffed dog is beyond me. The commercial alone would have terrified the five-year-old me. It shows kids wearing bathing suits and raincoats because the dog gets them so wet. EW!

The Web site even has a step-by-step diagram with nasty sound effects--including slurping and heavy breathing--showing the puppy's growing love. He barks, wags his tail, kicks his leg and then he licks. SLURP!

The toy was featured on The Soup's "What the Kids are Watching" on E! Entertainment Television last week, where host Joel McHale postulated that this is how people get their start in fetish films. Sounds about right.